Its All Your Fault!

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Yesterday on the group call we were talking about blame. Who’s fault is it anyway?!

In his book ‘The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People’ Stephen Covey talks of the Circle of Influence and how effective people focus on their Circle of Influence not their Circle of Concern. That is they focus their energies on the things they can control.

What I find interesting is the way individuals define their Circle of Control. In my observations of super successful people I have seen that there is a presupposition that life’s journey is a choice of our own making. Covey calls this being response-able, that is they are in control despite external environments.

In contrast there are others that will blame the external environment for everything, ‘I got wet because it rained’ v ‘I got wet because I forgot my umbrella’. In choosing the first view people often disempower themselves from making positive change.

One of my favourite phrases taken from the world of NLP is if it’s possible in the world, it’s possible for me. I just have to make choices. Everyone has the same amount of hours in the week, some make it to the gym, some ‘don’t have time’. Some make 7 figures, some don’t. Some are experts in their field, some are frustrated by their lack of clients.

We have a choice, our clients have a choice. Just because the chocolate is in the shop it doesn’t mean it has to end up in the trolley, in the cupboard and in our tummy. Just because its cold and raining it doesn’t mean we have to stay inside instead of going to the gym. Just because this month it’s a struggle to pay the rent it doesn’t mean that’s the way reality has to be.

The most successful people I know ask questions like ‘How did I create this reality?’ they want to know what and how they can change to improve when they get an outcome they don’t want. Plus the answer to this question tells them what to do in the future when they do get the outcome they want and then they can rinse and repeat.

Which option do you choose?

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